On the island out in the Pacific, the temperature was just perfect, not too warm but not too cold. The sun peeked between crevices in the clouds, making the areas it shone on quite warm. Birds chirped from all over the place filling the space with an enjoyable sensation. The sand I stood on was perfect white and was very soft, like my carpet back home.
High up on a cliff overlooking the area where I stood was a magnificent mansion. It was pearly white with four turrets and an enormous front yard. An electric fence surrounded the perimeter of the mansion. A gigantic gate guarded the entrance to the property. The mansion had to be at least four stories high. A large balcony was located in the front along with a beautiful garden. A stone path led up from my position to the gate of the mansion.
I turned to admire the sights of the ocean. When the sunlight hit it just right, the ocean appeared to sparkle. Dolphins hopped in and out of the water just off the shore. Crabs dotted the sand near the shore, showing off their large and shiny claws. What surprised me was that there was nobody on the beach on this beautiful day. Where were they? How did I get here? As day turned to night, I curled up on the beach and silently fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Nice! While I was reading your story I could picture myself there on the island. Nice descriptive writing!
ReplyDeleteVery descrtiptive, words like "crevices, magnificent, and beautiful" enhanced the story. I liked how you compared the sand to carpet. I also liked how it ended with you wondering some things, and it made it mysterious, and I thought that was cool.
ReplyDeleteYou had a lot of voice in this piece and I could see myself there. It was very descriptive, and you used good vocabulary, like Shaun said.
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